Playing to Lose

Right from Swordfish wherein Gabriel(Johan Travolta) laments the lack of realism in portraying villains in movies to Rochester(Johnny Depp), in the Libertine, commencing the movie with his monologue and bluntly stating that he is  not a likeable character; why do certain characters stand out from the ordinary.

Why is it that all games have to have winners and losers? Why is winning important? Why is surviving/survival critical? Why do the primordial instincts kick in? Why do we float? 

What if you start playing to lose, just so that you get to see the other side win. You just want to watch your opponent win and beam with joy while you bask in your so called 'sacrifice'. Why has it to be a sacrifice? Letting the other win is a joyful thing, but goes against the tenets of the basic game theory. Leaving aside cooperative games, why is winning always celebrated; the limelight is far away from the losers.

What if you play to lose. What if you play to just understand the game and its different outcomes, and winning or losing was just part of it.

That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. 

Love and Fear

Niccolò Machiavelli, in his seminal 'The Prince', CHAPTER XVII : "Concerning Cruelty And Clemency, And Whether It Is Better To Be Loved Than Feared" writes:

Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with.  Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you.  And that prince who, relying entirely on their promises, has neglected other precautions, is ruined; because friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.

[Sidenote: the book did not actually have a title when it was written by Machiavelli]

In Economics, we call this as a Matching Market. Love belongs to the Matching Market whereas Fear is not. In a Matching Market, there is a willingness to sell a service or good by a Seller, and a willingness on the side of the Buyer to buy the service or the good at the said terms. The transaction does not happen otherwise. Organ Trades, and others are examples of such Matching Markets.

Other examples of matching markets include Jobs, Organ Transplants, Room Allocations, Marriages, Loans etc.

In Love, this commonality of needs or wants is necessary. But Fear is a one way street. Fear is inculcated by the Perpetrator onto the victim. It can so happen that Victim need not fear the actions by the Perpetrator, and hence this equation is purely based on the magnitude of the actions by the Perpetrator. Fear is also a perception and is determinant on the Perceiver; what can be otherwise 'normal' actions by a do-er can cause fear in the minds of the Receiver/Victim.

But both Love and Fear, suffer from a serious handicap. Handicap of Impermanence; that is, the feeling of Love and Fear is temporary and can either fade or strengthen with the passage of time. You might Love something today, and something else tomorrow. Fear is similar; what you are afraid of today, need not make you cringe in fear the day after. Impermanence is a beautiful concept and is the underlying theory that causes more trouble in the hearts of Humans. We abhor Impermanence as we do not understand it. We are never taught of Impermanence in our education and hence most of Humanity(especially the Western World) fears Death.

In Bhaja Govindam, this is stated beautifully:

ma kuru dhana, jana , youvana garvam;
harathi nimeshat kalat sarvam

Do not be proud of your wealth, relationships or youth. Time can snatch them away from you in no time.

Dissent and The Law of Numbers

One of the problems with a democratic form of governance is that the dissenting opinion requires to be backed up by law of numbers. That is, if you are comprising of the minority and have an opinion, then the majority's opinion is thrust upon you.

"Death of Socrates", Oil on canvas painting by Jacques-Louis David (1787)

So what do you do when you dissent against the majority. Revolution and coups, though a solution, are not to be espoused, as any violence(be physical or psychological) removes the sanctity of the system and causes further degradation.

Rather, holding onto the dissent and working on establishing the dissent with valid evidences, prototypes or a fully-fledged working solution would be a constructive form. We often see that dissents are often restricted to opinions alone, and are not followed up with the scientific rigour to productize the opinion. If you are a change-seeking-agent or an activist, rather than cribbing, complaining, shouting or holding the placards, getting to the crowd and sowing the seeds for the change would be a constructive form.

And if you are still not heard, then use the placards to showcase the solution.

And if you are still not heard, move on.

Contrary to the idea of dissent in democratic forms, in some organizations, there is a general principle of HIPPO - i.e, Highly Paid Person's Opinion :)

The Unsolicited Gajendra Moksham

Few things in life happen out of the blue which are beyond any reason or rationale. While the mind continues to wander, seeking the reason or the causality of the events, and the self ponders about it in an everlasting vicious circle and unending series of man-hours spent while the hairs continue to fall and lathe the floor, the Maker stands somewhere and is smirking at us mortals.

One of my relatives had given my parents a CD containing the discourses of Nochur Venkatraman on Bhagavatham. After having finished reading Mahabharata and Ramayana, the next obvious choice for me was Bhagavatham. But given how fickle our mind is and all the extraneous parameters that continue to affect our lives with their own intricacies, I was not fortunate enough to read either Bhagavatham, or listen to it. My parents continued to the play the CD every day evening and listen to the discourse, while I was ensconced in my man-cave and lost either reading the current state of the World or the ways by which World Domination could be achieved.

The story of Gajendra Moksha always fascinated me right from childhood. I remember having read it in Amar Chitra Katha(ACK), and also had the version of ACK with me for a long time. But little did I know that universe conspires in strange ways and sometimes our scientific mind and all the rationality that comes along with the baggage indeed goes for a toss. The idea of this blog post is not to expatiate on the story of Gajendra and his struggles leading to his ultimate salvation, but the emotional turbulences caused by just listening to it in the most unexpected of the circumstances. By the way, the story of Gajendra and his moksham(salvation) symbolizes so much more than what is contained in the frame - I would highly recommend almost everyone, irrespective or caste/creed/religion to read this amazing story and understand the nuances contained in it. Probably, a blog post in itself in the due course of time will be seen here!

Anywayz, so, my pal(Vijay) informed me that one of his pals was visiting him and we should do a 1-day drive sometime. We decided quickly and the drive did happen. His pal, Rangan, was a highly successful Technologist settled in the United States and was visiting India as his annual ritual. While returning back after the trek and drive, we were talking about some spiritual aspects of religion etc, and I told him about how I always have been wanting to hear the story of Gajendra Moksham but despite the CD and Youtube at a hand's length, it has been evading me. Rangan offered telling the story, and after we all agreed, he started reciting the story of Gajendra Moksham to all of us.

He went on for a good 1-1.5hours. Emotions swelled. Eyes became wet. His brilliant story-telling just numbed my senses at brief moments of time.

Yes I cried. I do not know, but tears rolled by cheeks and I saw Rangan crying in the back seat. Though he was whimpering, my tears were silent and they just rolled down without much fanfare. There was muteness for some time, and Rangan continued. The occasional silence in the car was deafening, and it became a perfect backdrop for an absolute brilliant day wherein we did a tough hike which relaxed the body and then followed it up with some amazing spiritual story telling(for the soul).

Some of us are Gajendras in real life as well, and many of us prefer to fight against ignorance thereby sapping our energies. Fear appears when there is lack of knowledge. We do not accept the fact that our relatives and friends will not lend a helping hand or will be equally useless at certain instances, for we do not understand the concept of 'sharanagati'. Instead, by concentrating on seeking knowledge through karma or bhakti, one can truly seek salvation. Gajendra was not just a pachyderm who was caught into the jaws of the crocodile, he was much more that; the only problem being he did not know what he was and what he was capable of. Ignorance caught him, and kept him occupied.

Why did Rangan come all the way from USA during the said time and why did my pal Vijay have to bring him on this drive and of all the things that we could have discussed, why did I end up listening to Ganjendra Moksham. I have no explanations. And this will continue to remain a mystery to me. Probably, I am romanticizing the entire episode, but I am beginning to believe that my scientific mind these days requires equal amounts of romanticism as well, and it is all the better that the brain does not wander into the course of rationality and try to analyze and understand everything in its details. Certain things are better left unsaid, un-analyzed.

Thanks Rangan. We all are Gajendras.

Mahabharata

What is here is found elsewhere,
What is not here is nowhere.
- Mahabharata I.56. 34-35

In 2013, I got an opportunity to read the following four books on Mahabharata along with countless online posts and articles.

• Jaya : An illustrated Retelling of the Mahabharata by Devdutt Pattnaik
• The Difficulty of Being Good - On the Subtle Art of Dharma by Gurcharan Das
• Yuganta - The End of an Epoch by Iravati Karve
• Ajaya by Anand Neelakantan 

Mahabharata is an extremely complex treatise on humans and relationships. Rules when reinforced in one chapter are broken in the very next one. Tolerance being espoused in one context is totally frowned upon in the other. By the end of it, you are pretty much confused, for the subject does not clearly lay down rules for the common man to follow. Unlike in Ramayana, where Ram clearly follows the 'rules'(dharma), Mahabharata is scattered with characters who are imperfect in their own and also in the larger moral ecosystem. A quick jab on Ramayana here is that Ram who is supposed to be 'mariyada-purushottam' is frowned upon when he leaves Sita in the forest. The context has to be understood. That, Ram leaves Sita in the forest for he does not want his wife to live with a tainted tag with him. Though he can live with Sita as-is, his love for Sita is visible when he states that he cannot see his 'praja' question him on this subject. 

Lord Krishna in one context wherein he advises Arjuna on the righteous path of dharma and truthfullness, also directs Bhima to attack Duryodhana under the belt. Many of these sacrosanct beliefs have been hushed under the carpet of Dharma. The common man does not understand the concept of Dharma with so much vagary as in the context of Mahabharata. The confusion is only built up more when you read different perspectives by different authors. But this confusion with different perspectives should be actually understood and appreciated and reflected upon more.

Dharma in its simplest definition is :

"One should never do to another what one regards as injurious to oneself. This, in brief is the law of Dharma" - Mahabharata XVIII.113.8

As Gurcharan Das states,

The political ideology of Mahabharata rejects both the amorality of Duryodhana as well as the idealistic position of the earlier Yudhisthira in exile.  

The epics tentative world of moral haziness is closer to our experience as ordinary human beings in contrast to the certainty of the fundamentalist. Its dizzyingly plural perspectives are a nice antidote to the narrow and rigid positions that surround us amidst the hypertrophied rhetoric of the early 21st century.

It is not dharma or right conduct that the Mahabharata seems to teach, but the 'subtle' nature of dharma - its infinite subtlety, its incalculable calculus of consequences , its endless delicacy

In the present world, wherein there is a fad to label themselves as a 'rebel' and give up everything and go to the Himalayas, Mahabharata defines "Nishkama Karma" and states that life is not about going to the Himalayas, but about living self-effacingly in the world like Bhishma.

Ajaya by Anand Neelakantan is an extremely potent book for I have not heard of many other books who treat the subject from Kaurava's view point. The author lays a very strong foundation and the questions asked by Suyodhana and his moral rigmarole make a very interesting talking point. Highlighting Suyodhana as a lover of romance is something that no other author has tried so far. Ajaya is not a book if you are new to Mahabharata for it can lead to a very wrong impression of the treatise - DO NOT read it if you do not know the story of Mahabharata.

Claiming that I have become wiser by reading these books would be a joke as I have just started my path towards 'Understanding' the values implied in each of these treatises. One needs experience coupled with theoretical knowledge to gain higher echelons. And I am happy that I just started scratching the surface with these readings. The question is not if I am going to reach my destination , but the path itself is challenging to me.

To quote GD again, Mahabharata is a continuing repository of crisis in the public discourse of classical India.

Ashwatthama's Revenge

The character of Aswatthama in the Mahabharata has always fascinated me. It was interesting to read the character analysis of Aswatthama in the book 'The Difficulty of Being Good' by Gurcharan Das. Though the other chapters in the book were equally captivating, I found the one on "Ashwatthama's Revenge" to be of high calibre and of immense importance in the present societal scenario(s).

A quick intro to Aswatthama:
- Son of Dronacharya and Grandson of sage Bharadwaja; and hence a Brahmin(and not a kshatriya)
- During Mahabharata, Yudhishthira tells a lie that Ashwatthama is dead['Ashwathama hathaha kunjaraha' -- In Sanskrit "Ashwathama hathaha" means 'ashwathama is dead' and "kunjaraha" means 'elephant'. Yudhishthira utters 'kunjaraha' slowly so that Drona cannot hear it] and this causes Drona to drop his arms(as his son has been killed) and descend his chariot and meditate. Dhristadhyumna decapitates Drona then.
- Actual fact : An elephant called Ashwatthama was slain by Bhima. Yudhishthira had to tell this lie(at the instruction of Krishna) for there was no other way to defeat Drona. Angered by this lie which led to his father's death, Aswatthama swore to kill the Pandavas. At night, he spots an owl ambushing crows sleeping on the trees. He gets an idea and decides to attack the Panadava's camp at night; he kills all the children of the Pandavas who were sleeping inside the tents. It is said that Ashwatthama had the blessings of Mahadeva(Shiva) and hence this was possible.
- Arjuna and Ashwatthama are the only two to have the knowledge of invoking a Brahmastra; this was taught to them by Drona. Drona did not teach Ashwatthama to withdraw the weapon as he felt that a brahmin would never have the use of invoking the weapon.
- When Pandavas came searching for Ashwatthama, post the massacre of their children, the latter invoked the Brahmastra and Arjuna did too. The clash of the two weapons was suitably stopped by Vyasa(as it would have led to total annihilation), but as Ashwatthama did not have the knowledge to withdraw his weapon, he directed it towards the womb of Uttara(Abhimanyu's wife) who was pregnant - to end the dynasty completely.
- Ashwatthama was subjected to a curse(his Prarabdha karma).
- Curse of Immortality : "he will carry the burden of all people's sins on his shoulders and will roam alone like a ghost without getting any love and courtesy for 3000 years. He will have neither any hospitality nor any accommodation; He will be in total isolation from mankind and society; His body will suffer from a host of incurable diseases forming sores and ulcers that would never heal"

This post is by no means my attempt to understand and research Ashwatthama better, but is to highlight some of the notes from the chapter which is to be used for further analysis.

Notes:
From 'The Difficulty of Being Good' by Gurcharan Das on the subject of "Ashwatthama's Revenge"

• legitimacy of retributive justice
• He is intent on revenge though he is aware of of its terrible karmic consequences

  Truly, if killing my father's murderers,
  The Panchalas, as they sleep in the night, means
  Rebirth for me as a worm or a moth, I shall
  Suffer it gladly.

• The Mahabharata has been called 'an epic of revenge' and Ashwathama happens to have been at the wrong place at the wrong time
• Vengeance has the power of an instinct. The 'lust of vengeance' and the 'thirst of revenge' are so powerful that they rival all other human needs.
• vindictiveness damages the core of the whole being
• If the good person suffers, then the bad person should suffer even more : this is an idea that seems embedded in the human psyche. Consciously one denies it, of course, and proclaims piously, 'I'm not the sort of person who holds grudges'. Yet one unconsciously applauds when the villain 'gets what he deserves'. Wanting to punish a villain or seeing him punished is ubiquitous in literature, movies and politics. 
• retribution is useful because it brings a 'profound sense of moral equilibrium impelling us to demand that people pay for the harm that they have done to others'
• punishment on the grounds of social control: it provides an incentive for a normal person to comply with laws, helps reduce crime and thus maximizes human welfare
• according to Jean Hampton : the aim of punishment is not to avenge wrongdoing or to inflict pain and injury on the offender but 'to annul the offender's claim of superiority'
• doctrine of proportionality is consistent with human intuition - Exodus 21:22-25
• The rod of Punishment is to applied differential and according to Law, not haphazardly; Punishment may be censure, imprisonment, gold, expulsion, severing limb from body, or execution. Banishment, death and the various corporal afflictions should not be imposed for any trivial reason. - Mahabharata XII.122.40-42
• Forgiveness is the strength of the virtuous
• to fight is easy, but to forgive is difficult. To be patient is not to be weak, to seek peace is always the wiser course.

  We who were the conquerors have at last
  been conquered by the foe...
  How can we call it victory when we are the ..
  Vanquished
    - Mahabharata X.10.9

• forbearance vs forgiveness : while forgiveness  suggests a degree of 'self-righteousness', forbearance points one in the direction of the classical virtue of magnanimity. The magnanimous person is forward-looking and does not differ the 'victimization; complex of the forgiving person.
• Nicomachean Ethics
• The word 'jehad' is rarely found in the Quran but is referred to 199 times in the Hadith, which was written 2 centuries after the death of the Prophet.  The Wahabis interpreted Jehad to mean a holy war, even though it had actually mean 'striving'; a Mujahideen was originally not a holy warrior but one who strives.

I want to point out that revenge is an extremely dangerous weapon, and request you not to form any kind of opinions based on the notes above. 'Revenge' and 'Punishment' are to be understood and analyzed in different contexts and are extremely complex topics; the path of 'peace' and 'love' is to be always followed. Am in the process of understanding Mahabharata and its characters based on commentaries and perspectives from different resources and it always keeps puzzling me and leads me to explore and research more on this topic.

World Face

[This post is written with no intention to harm anybody or hurt anyone's feelings. So before you arrest me or any of my pals who might end up 'liking' this post, or do any kind of harm to me or to them, do watch the movie and am sure you will cry with us.]

I was not given any pills - no red or blue pills - i had to watch it. No other go. The same way i ended up watching Argo as the first in the sequence of movies during my back-breaking and mind-numbing Singapore Airlines flight and ended up cursing those who nominate garbage for Oscars.

But before we go onto the characters, few important observations:
1. It is easy to infiltrate into al-Qaeda.
2. W.r.t #1, it is easy for a RAW agent to infiltrate, than any MI6, FBI or both combined.
3. If you are a new recruit in al-Qaeda, it is easy to spot OsamaBinLaden, for your manager will soon take you to him to get acquainted with the top leaders; similar to what happens in corporates these days.
4. Americans, despite their stringent full-body security checks at airports, still do not know that even pigeons can cause havoc in a city like NY.
5. When someone asks you about a certain element, it is necessary for you to puke out their atomic number and mass; without this we wouldn't know that you are a PhD.
6. Faraday needs a shield, for sure, preferably a microwave oven.
  ........do you really want more?

We have just lost cabin pressure!

Kamal calls this 'art'? Seriously? You mean, someone crunching out atomic number and weights of Cesium is Art? Pooja Kumar is art? Granted that she has nice eyes and all, but why make the mistake of making her open her mouth and top that of with some really bad dubbing. Senthil's voice sounds better in comparison, and his jokes are atleast worthy of a laugh.

And that Nallavara-Kettavara dialogue?  "I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. "

And why did you make Andrea stand there? Did you want to make that FBI lady agent look fat in comparison and talk about her 'smart-ass'? I am still trying to figure out her role in the movie.

Shekhar Kapur? Seriously? Is he becoming the Shashi Tharoor of Indian Cinema?

And finally Rahul Bose. Our media has started hailing that "Bollywood struggles to defy cliched portrayals of Muslim characters"; and there are people who are antagonized. I fail to fathom that when Palakkad Tamils are not objecting to the dreadful tamil being used, does this really matter? I would have expected the likes of atleast Vali, Vairamuthu to object to the Tamil being used.

Remember: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

The last few scenes of Kamal lying with the actresses under those black sheets with the voice over - true genius! I was glad that the scenes in the movie did not last more than a few seconds but I am curious as to what Pooja Kumar would blurt out during those moments. It was as if Tyler Durden had included those magical moments(changeover) himselves.

And travails did not stop there. Even when i wanted to watch table tennis videos on Youtube to recover from the numbness, the darn recommendation engine prompted me to watch The Making of the movie.

If someone tells you that tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life after watching this movie and your breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted, then keep your kevlar studded punching gloves ready. I facepalmed so many times during and after the movie that now my palm has an oblique reference to my face and there are symptoms of my face resembling my fingers. The transposition will be complete soon i presume, if i do not recover by some temporary catharsis.

Now i know you are all eager to watch this movie, so i give you this[1] and this[2] too, if not Part-Two.

Patisotagami

They arrive in vanquished dreams,
Dance away in solitary rooms,
I hear them weep deep inside.

Kisses on the roses are no longer red,
Fields are not toiled any more,
Taps run dry under the eternal sun,
Libraries of human delusions.


Stagnation, is the only recourse.

Repaint > Reuse

During my recent visit to the Bay Area, i could spot many advertisements in Craigslist wherein people were throwing (or giving away) lots of items which would still be a luxury in any Indian home. Or even if you just were to collect all these items, refurbish them and sell them again, i am sure you would be creating a huge industry in itself.
Charity begins at home, and after much procrastination i decided on one fine day that i would refurbish the Ironing Table and the Washing Machine stand - to make it reusable for another 3-4 years.

I got this Ironing Table from Freecycle - though we went to pickup a telephone stand, the owner also wanted to dispose off this table which was quiet old. We were in twin minds whether to take it or not, as it was heavily rusted. But then it occurred to me that few hour's job would make this table as good as new, and even if the effort fails, i can always give it away to someone; and hence i took the table.

Expenses:
A small Black Paint Can : 19 INR
A medium Sized Brush :   10 INR
Fine Sandpaper :  4 INR
4 Bush(for ironing table) : 4*4 = 16 INR
Total Expenses = 50 INR

And hence it starts....to summarize, the process is pretty simple :
1. remove dust or anything sticking to the surface
2. sandpaper the whole surface - remove all rust
3. remove durst again - so that any rust powder or dust is not present while painting
4. (take rest and then) Paint
5. IF needed, paint one more layer on the surface.

Reclaiming the Ironing Board/Table
A nice Friday morning it was (which happened to be Ugadi - Holiday), this all started. Armed with 2 pieces of fine sandpaper this lone ranger entered the arena.Took the Ironing Board to the balcony (prefer to have it outside living spaces, as there will be lots of minute suspended particles which is not good for the health; better to cover your mouth+nose too ) and started scraping the rust and the old blue paint using the sandpaper. The screws and the corners were heavily rusted, and hence had to rub the sandpaper more than a couple of times.

Took a small tea break, and then applied a layer of black paint. The paint dryed very fast - almost in an hour and it looked nice. Just to make the surface a little more smoother --- applying paint on curved surfaces is tough , the pain does not spread uniformly --- i  did a quick layer and a few minor touchups. And Voila! this board was ready :)


Reclaiming the Washing Machine Stand
The washing machine stand was only 2 years old, but the emulsion paint had some signs of wearing off. Plan was to remove the emulsion layer from the few places and coat them alone. But as soon as i started tearing off the paint(yes, the paint had become like a plastic layer and was 'tearable'), it just came off. After removing the emulsion paint layer, which had hardened like a plastic sheet, i was introduced the gory world of rust. I could not even believe my eyes - the stand was totally rusted - though the structure was solid, but the rust had affected every nook and corner of the stand.

I guess, the main factor for rusting here was the exposed stand which had to bear brunt of rains etc. But i did not expect so much rust! The below picture is that of the peeled off emulsion paint from the stand. Note that the paint is actually white in color, but the rust has stuck to the layer like a paint in itself.

The whole of next hour was spent in sandpapering the stand to remove the dust; and this was a tough exercise! I had to sandpaper the stand a couple of times to remove most of the traces of rust (but the bugger still managed to hide in some corners).

And after a quick tea break, the paint work commenced. I knew that this stand required atleast two layers of paint; and after the first coat, i was happy with the end result.I planned to do coat one more layer the next day, after letting the present layer dry.

Just see the transformation in the below sequence:

After 2 layers of painting, the stand was perfect to be used for another couple of years without much pain. And after all this, i still have some paint left!

Epilogue
A 65 year old American couple was asked my a reporter:  How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?
The woman replied, "We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it"

The One Way Street

How many times you have ever felt that you are walking up a one way street...just walking , walking and walking a little more. The feeling of the same monotonicity, the grind with the hope of finding something different down the alley; the hope that this one way would go and meet some new street or bend to a new boulevard filled with roses and tulips, the hope of finding a new puppy left alone, without a collar, to be picked up and to be cared for, the hope of finding and meeting someone new who brings in a new hope of life, the hope of getting a basket filled with trinkets and chocolates, the hope of reaching the end of this world and then starting again. Where does this one way street lead to?

Don't you want to turn around and ask yourself whether you want to just trudge along the same direction where this street leads you to, or do you want to take a detour and enter a new arena that you haven't entered or experienced before, try out the other challenges in life and see where it leads you to.

Today has been one of those days, again, where the mind seeks to get past the oblivion and prefers a direct route than circumnavigate, but the thoughts of extrapolating things in life, taking into effect the sacrifices of your fellow men , the red daffodil that always lies on your way, ready to be picked up and then placed right back on the road where it was lying, the things of the past wherein you had committed a mistake but fought hard to correct it and then brings things back in shape - all these and more always affect our life in more than one way.

Norwegian Blue Parrot

Nope - this blog is not dead yet. Neither did it go to meet its maker.
It is just ruminating about all the things in life.
It shall sprout up with life soon(read 'few days'), for it cannot be idle.

Courage is NOT victory

M.J.Akbar is probably one of the best writers(along with the likes of Gurumurthy, Arun Shourie et al) presently in India, whom i admire and appreciate the most. His choice of words and technicality of his articles are a pleasure to read and ponder. He is probably the only prolific Islamic Indian writer of the contemporary times who is insightful, understands his religion and the worlds affairs sincerely.

His latest editorial in today's(Sunday, Jan 11, 2009) Times of India(Chennai Edition) is worth a read. Check him out here.

I loved the way he ended his article : "Men die for two diametrically opposed reasons: when they value what they seek to defend, and when there is nothing worth living for. Israel has created a state worth defending. The Palestinians must be given something to live for. "

Moving On

Had my last day at work yesterday(Monday) and am all set for my next adventure.

I am planning to backpack for sometime across India before i decide on what to do next. I am joining an American Photojournalist as an assistant for the next 10 days and am gonna travel+click with him for sometime.

After that i plan to travel for some more weeks on my own and travel all the way up till Leh/Ladakh. I have been hearing a news that the road to Leh is blocked due to landslides/snow. I am really disappointed by this. But whatever, my spirits are high and looking for some good fun and learning.

Chennai -> Mumbai -> Around Mumbai -> Gujarat -> Rajasthan -> Punjab -> Chandigarh -> Leh is what i have in mind. Am not sure whether i would be able to finish the entire itinerary, but would try my best. I want to cover the major tourist destinations and then the ruins and the local art/craftsmanship. Would be more of an explorer than a 'tourist' ...as always. (Do drop me an email/comment, if you want to jam up)

I am not sure when i would return back - if i am tired/bored/run-out-of-cash/lightning-strikes-me , then i might as well return back earlier than planned.

PS : I dont mind sponsors and can give you good pictures in return :)

Twittered!

Finally am into the Twitter arena after having a prolonged self-imposed exile(or whatever) from it.

Random thoughts henceforth @ http://twitter.com/venkat83

PS: I dont really understand how they(twitter guys) are going to make money!!

Update: It is http://twitter.com/venkasub

Long days!

Nah...Nah...this blog hasn't died away in the blogosphere , but is just preparing for a new begining.

Myself and Balaji a.k.a labsji are working on something interesting and hence it has been really hectic. For the past 2 weeks we sleep at 4-5am and have pulled a couple of all-nighters ... hence , life is being really nice to me and is teaching me loads of good stuff(as always).

Keep tuned....this blog might as well get a new face and some *really* interesting stuff coming all your way.
[Guess, i need to put some ads here and there and start monetizing ;) ]

A blind eye to the right cause

There is a famous story of the Vanilla icecream and General Motors that used to circulate the web few years back(am sure it is still going around in forwards)....This story is a marvelous one which teaches lots of management principles and way of looking at things. Most often it happens that we look at things with a wrong perspective or due to the inherent bias we dont even look at things that matter the most - it is these simple things/details that take mammoth proportions going down the lane and bring us down. For the benefit of my readers, am reproducing the story here ..

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.....

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"

The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start. The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: "vapor lock". It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.

As always, am not going to draw an inference out of this. Let your mind see , what it chooses to see.

Cribbing = Negativism

The problem with 'people who crib' or 'the problem with cribbing' is that they are AN INTENSE SOURCE OF NEGATIVE ENERGY....

the epidemic source of negativism not inhibited by any counter-cribs but a gradual delinquishment of the available observing nodes.



Raise... Search ... Obtain... Relish... Move on... :)

Powerset ( Mathematical Pun )

Lot has been said about Powerset since its inception and blogosphere has not spared it either after its release in the recent past. Search is one of the toughest problems - given the magnitude and the sheer plethora of the information around. Though most of the blogs concerning the Powerset launch deal with how the management ended up having all the NLP grads(from Stan etc) and paid them 100k+ to develop this platform in SF; i will try to share some personal experience with this engine and how my expectations hasn't been satiated still.

Powerset was touted to be a Q&A engine with 'human' intelligence inbuilt into it. I was expecting some practical applications of Discourse theory too here. But neither were 'visible' in the experience that i had.

This blog is by no means a comprehensive review of the entire engine and its product strategy and the market segmentation brought on by Powerset, but sheer reflections of some emotions(read 'rants').

read on...

--> I was confused for a minute when i first saw the page result(search-hits) after doing the search for 'gandhi'. Now you need to understand when i say this that, i am referring to a 'typical' lane man who wants to search for some recipe or some term. There are just too many UI elements which can easily confuse your grand-mom.

--> I did a search for 'gandhi' and the results that i got were nowhere related to Gandhi(noun) but to the movie and the music bands and etc (in the tabbed bar above the Factz). Hence, i am not going to share what happened when i did a Q search (you may check other blogs for guys who did 'ask' question and the answers were a sheer 'mashup' of all the 'associated' keywords)!

--> The Factz were just too simple and i could not much gather anything from it, except for a solo fact which stated 'Quit India Movement'. The Factz look more like Powerset has simply searched on the n-grams gathered from all of the Wikipedia articles which has a 'rough' semantic association with the word 'gandhi'.

--> The widget on the right of the page (with delicious/reddit/et al links) is simply not required here. Atleast this could be made to bookmark the link with the search-word, but it instead bookmarks the powerset.com site. Anyway, I find this as a criminal waste of screen real estate.(But on a different note, this can be accommodated now, as Powerset has just launched and would be just interested in getting themselves bookmarked the max number of times - somehow, i don't subscribe to this PoV).

--> At the bottom of the page, the section on "Exploring the following pages on Powerset" is something that is simple but yet elegant. I would have preferred to see this result than seeing the Factz.(This is something similar to Sponsored Searches found in many other sites and corporate portals).

--> When you click on any of the result-hits, then the link opens in a new page ; which has an Article Outline on the right. Again, i simply would not even look at this - frankly speaking i did not even observe this, probably it was in my blindspot. Also, the way in which it slides when the page is scrolled - nice effect , but does not amaze me.

Concluding remarks:
# It looks like the entire is just an Alpha release , am sure that the Powerset team can collate its entire '(in)organic intelligence' and take this product to the next level; in the current release its a sheer play with ngrams and some named entity recognition (NER). Am sorry to say, but this does not look like the much-anticipated-Google/Live/Ask-Killer; in fact, not even closer to any of the latter. I would prefer Clusty.com to Powerset.

# Indexing all the wikipedia articles using Lucene/Solr, some NER and using the faceted searching would end up having almost similar results. I somehow opine that using simple algorithms and heuristics often ends up in having 'almost-similar' results than spending millions of USD and thousands of man-hours on developing a product that would be a step advanced than the former.

# Some bloggers have stated that Powerset can be a probable fit in the Enterprise Search space - but still solr+some-nlp-lib would be better of there (or use Google CSE ;) )

# Get the footer of the page properly aligned!!! It looks really bad in Firefox - The text "Privacy Policy" and "Except where" overlap badly.

......... And its not necessary that all sites have to be Javscript powered to give it a 'cool' look&feel .. simplicity rocks!

ESSAY- 1 : The Illusion of Choice

I had two interesting conversations with two different people (of opposite genders) last week. One centered on the difference between 'Choice and Decision' and the other being between 'Religion and God'. Apparently, both the guys differed from my point of view and stated some strong arguments in their favour. We did not reach any conclusion per se, but did feel that it was a topic for further exploration.

In this essay, I have tried to reflect on some of the views hovering around these topics. I will not try to 'explain' it, but take it to a state from which i would wish the thought processes to continue.

Choice and Decision
Choice is a 'state of mind' , which sees the presence of one(Hobson's) or more course of actions, given a particular predicament.
Decision is a logical conclusion arrived at by considering all the available choices(course of actions).

According to Hinduism, Maya is a state wherein the mind sees something that is either ephemeral,evanescent or is not-present - this is something similar to illusion. The mind conjectures certain conditions which leads it to 'see' certain things that are not present. The last sentence is indeed interesting. Firstly, how can the mind 'imagine' something that it has never seen - how it can 'make' things without having an experience of the same. For eg. a person knows that a desert is hot and arid because he has experienced it. Now for a person who doesn't even know what a desert is , or even further, hasn't even heard the word - then how can he imagine the 'state of a desert'. It follows that if a person who has already been to a desert (say Bob) explains it verbally to a person who hasn't been there(say Alice), then there are some good chances that Alice can come up with a rough version of a picture of the desert. This is because, Bob was able to relate to the conditions in a desert to a conditions that Alice would have felt when at home or at her present state;but the same scenario becomes difficult for Bob, if Alice was blind since birth.

Experiences do matter.

Religion and God
Religion is a set of rules put forth by our predecessors to bring discipline into our lives. Religion for that matter can be equated to the constitution to be followed in one's life - a way of life. It prescribes some notions that when followed lead to an enhanced status of living with superior intellectual pursuits. The presence of different religions around is a depiction of different schools of thought. Each religion (or school) prescribes certain activities that was felt by a 'single' person to be significant and a mass followed him for the wavelength matched with the Master. The creation of a new school of thought was deeply influenced by the social dynamics and interpersonal relationships. Whenever the society(which constitutes of that 'single' person in the begining) feels that a certain rule needs to be broken or created altogether , and which was totally complementary to the one already existing in the present religion, a new discipline/religion was born.

Now, the creators of the religion(or constitution) did realize that it was difficult for the society to follow some rules when there was no one to supervise and hence 'God' was created. [The concept of 'God' is one of the most beautiful things that fascinates me till date , for it amuses/amazes me - but the thirst still persists and am continuing my hunt to satiate it.] According to humans, God is the one who was supposed to have created the 'new' religion and hence he is the Supreme - the omnipresent - the omniscient. Different rules where ascribed to different Gods.

Symbolism
A perspective that has been missing in both the conversations has been the relevance of symbolism. Symbolism cannot be equated to Experience. The concept of Choice and God is sheer symbolism. We cannot describe either of them, unless we feel them; and describing the experiences is beyond the bounds of the lexicon. These words are the feelings that come closest to the experience, but the feelings cannot be sustituted for a constrained set of grammar rules and words.

As Gary Zukov points out in his book[2], let the masters continue to dance... let the music flow and let us dance along with it. We are least bothered about what had transpired and what is supposed to come. We are just concerened about the present and the dance and the mysticism associated with it.

Finishing Notes....... My knowledge on this subject is very much limited and am trying to understand it more. This essay is not an effort to vandalize the existing customs or rituals , but an effort to share some views that i feel were worthy of consideration in this world. This essay also does not reflect all the rationale behind the topic of contention and many other views that are equally important in understanding the subject. The subject is worthy of exploration and more research, and it carries an enormous philosophical and psychological angle to it. I do not deny the existence of God and neither question the relvance of religion - i do visit temples , pray and prostrate - but i want to understand this 'phenomenon' in its entirety , for it encompasses some of the most delicate and controversial dogmas, principles and thoughts around.

Who am I? Why I am here? What am i supposed to do? What have i done? (Origin > Identity > Destiny)

Humans are causal beings - we ascribe 'causes' to whatever we see happening - this notion is reflected in almost in all the religions - its called 'karma'. I atleast know that Hinduism and Buddhism do lay emphasis on 'karma'. Bible certainly conveys the same essence [1]:

# A person reaps what he sows. (Gal. 6:7)
# All things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. (Matthew 7:12)

Karma does not mean that all events are predetermined; what it means is that the it is us who control what has to happen to us.

I do not believe in another 'term' that keeps floating around -- LUCK. Luck a term directed at something that is beyond the control of human mind ,and which we prescribe to when things do not happen as we anticipate them - and i find this to be weird and unacceptable. It is the human mind that decides its course of action; though it should be taken into account that the human mind does decide its course based on the current state of things and the things that have been learnt from the past. The symbiosis of Eastern Mysticism with Western Science is a very potent relationship and should be studied very carefully, with interest.

References:
[1] Buddhism Karma [http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/karma.html]
[2] Dancing Wu Li Masters - Gary Zukov
[...] experiences that has been gained in my limited stay on this planet :)

Few good reads

I havent read many books after moving down to Chennai ; the last one was The Black Swan - an excellent page turner with loads of gyaan. Taleb is a genius who understands the subject that he is trudging on and explains it with finesse.

Well, i was spending too much time on the Net and on my laptop and was getting into the geekdom(second part) again. My phone bill(broadband) shot up - guess the 2.5 Gb limit wasnt enough. But the 2Mbps line simply rocks. Nwayz, spent some time in the Spencer's(got a good Woodland Shoe) and then went on to Moore Market yesterday. Moore market is the bazaar near the Madras(Chennai) Railway Station wherein one can find everything on Earth (at very cheap rates) - provided on knows the art of negotiation/bargaining. My intentions were simply to go there and get some good reads to fill my shelf(and make my mom yell at me - she argues that i am occupying half the house with my junk).

Got the following :
# Survival of the Sickest - By Dr.Sharon Moalem
Having recently been affected by throat infection, i was searching for something on human anatomy and was happy to find this book. The Doc is a medical maverick who discovers why we need a disease. He talks about our genetic design and asks and answers some provocative questions. I have started reading this book and its going amazing.

# View from the Summit - By Sir Edmund Hillary
Waiting to read this book. An autobiography by the master himself and I being an ardent traveller/trekker this was an excellent find.

# The Dancing Wu Li Masters - By Gary Sukav
An old book - NY Times says that this is the most exciting intellectual adventure after the 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'. Its an absorbing guide to the mind stretching mysteries of the new Physics and points out striking parallels with modern Psychology and Eastern Mysticism.

# The Goal - By Eliyahu M.Goldratt
Have read some good reviews. The story of a person who has to save his plant(business) given lots of extraneous conditions that hamper from its development.

# The Great Game (On a Secret Service in High Asia) - By Peter Hopkirk
Related to adventure and war - yet to get a flavour of it.

# Code Complete - By Steve McConnell
This is a book on software construction - a must for many self-taught programmers :)

Am sure these kill keep me occupied for a month or two :)